My 'spiralling circle of nothingness'.
Hello to everyone reading this!
Today's blog is slightly different, I am going to talk about something that I like to call my 'spiralling circle of nothingness'.
Just over a year ago now I hit a point where I wasn't interested in doing anything. I didn't want to go to school or go to dance lessons, I wanted to quit my music lessons and didn't want to spend time with friends. I became quite sad and spent every free moment in my bed. Sometimes I cried myself to sleep and I started having panic attacks and chest pain.
But I wasn't aware of how I was. My family were getting worried and so my Mum asked me if anything was wrong, to which I responded nothing. My piano and dance teachers had asked my parents questions and were genuinely worried about me. None of this was getting through though, because I thought that I was fine and that they were being stupid.
That was until my mum told me that my two best friends had spoken to her about me behind my back. At first, I felt betrayed and lied to. But as my Mum explained that they thought that something was off, and not right, I started to listen. I became more aware of my thoughts and how I was acting. We went to the doctor about my chest pain and she said that it was caused by anxiety.
I'm not sure how, but something inside me woke up. By this point I had already quit my ballet lessons and my mum had taken me out of my drama club. I decided that I needed to do something. I realised that I wasn't alone and that I actually had a loving family, two awesome best friends and two caring teachers who all wanted me to get better. It took a little while but, somehow, I managed to change things and people noticed.
No one really knows why I hit that point but I have a few ideas. At that time I spent a lot of my time reading more depressing fanfictions and just surrounding myself with negative things. I had also been through my first break up so that made it worse.
Sometimes, I still have chest pains and (it's very rare) but I do have panic attacks, I have made myself happy by changing simple things and just doing what makes me feel good (like this blog).
I have written this blog post today because I think that my 'spiralling circle of nothingness' was a very important time in my life so far. It taught me that sometimes your friends can be more powerful at making you realise something than your parents. It made me appreciate that fact that my friends and family are brilliant and they care about me, and I am privileged to have them. It made me realise that sometimes you need support from the people around you and that you should listen to them.
You are strong, and you can have an awesome time, you just need to open your eyes.
-Emicool
Today's blog is slightly different, I am going to talk about something that I like to call my 'spiralling circle of nothingness'.
Just over a year ago now I hit a point where I wasn't interested in doing anything. I didn't want to go to school or go to dance lessons, I wanted to quit my music lessons and didn't want to spend time with friends. I became quite sad and spent every free moment in my bed. Sometimes I cried myself to sleep and I started having panic attacks and chest pain.
But I wasn't aware of how I was. My family were getting worried and so my Mum asked me if anything was wrong, to which I responded nothing. My piano and dance teachers had asked my parents questions and were genuinely worried about me. None of this was getting through though, because I thought that I was fine and that they were being stupid.
That was until my mum told me that my two best friends had spoken to her about me behind my back. At first, I felt betrayed and lied to. But as my Mum explained that they thought that something was off, and not right, I started to listen. I became more aware of my thoughts and how I was acting. We went to the doctor about my chest pain and she said that it was caused by anxiety.
I'm not sure how, but something inside me woke up. By this point I had already quit my ballet lessons and my mum had taken me out of my drama club. I decided that I needed to do something. I realised that I wasn't alone and that I actually had a loving family, two awesome best friends and two caring teachers who all wanted me to get better. It took a little while but, somehow, I managed to change things and people noticed.
No one really knows why I hit that point but I have a few ideas. At that time I spent a lot of my time reading more depressing fanfictions and just surrounding myself with negative things. I had also been through my first break up so that made it worse.
Sometimes, I still have chest pains and (it's very rare) but I do have panic attacks, I have made myself happy by changing simple things and just doing what makes me feel good (like this blog).
I have written this blog post today because I think that my 'spiralling circle of nothingness' was a very important time in my life so far. It taught me that sometimes your friends can be more powerful at making you realise something than your parents. It made me appreciate that fact that my friends and family are brilliant and they care about me, and I am privileged to have them. It made me realise that sometimes you need support from the people around you and that you should listen to them.
You are strong, and you can have an awesome time, you just need to open your eyes.
-Emicool
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